Saturday, September 25

Pray for juniors 2k15

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Three. Two. One. RUN! You and friends burst out the classroom door, sprinting towards the back parking lot before the herd of upperclassmen crowd the exit and you’re unable to escape school grounds. Too late. They’ve taken over the parking lot and there’s no way out. It takes all your strength to hold tears back; all you wanted was a bagel just two miles away, but now there’s no time to go out. Ah well. You *sigh* an exasperated *sigh* and drag yourself to the science wing where those daunting test retakes await your presence. Please, world, pray for us juniors. Not only do we juniors have to go through this hardship every day, we are also confronted with countless problems


For one thing, you begin to realize that even your regular classes are harder than before, with homework often consuming your sleepless nights. Enjoy Netflix while you can, kids, because binge-watching shows is no longer an option junior year!


And of course there’s the dreaded SAT/ACT, which naturally we procrastinate on prepping for until College Board reminds us that the test is tomorrow morning?! Wait, WHAT? Now we have to cram as many 12-letter vocab words and math formulas in our heads in one night! And you’re telling me I have to wake up at 7 for this?? Nope nope nope.


This takes some serious reconsideration of our priorities: college… or sleep?


Then there’s the food sitch. We can’t even remember the last time we ate something slightly healthy. I mean, potato chips are technically vegetables, right? And I’m pretty sure there was a piece of lettuce or some green stuff in my sandwich last week. At least there’s always the gym…


Oh and that brings us to exercise. We all want to do it, but really who has the time? The only running you’ll see me do is away from my calculus homework, not gonna lie.

And finally back to lunch, where we are freed from the constraints of our classrooms for a mere 45 minutes, only to return back to another teacher’s class to finish revisions or retakes. When that’s over, you’ll most likely find us snoozing in the library or hastily attempt to finish the homework that we never got to the night before.


But when we are able to go out for lunch, the worst struggle is figuring out who’s willing to sacrifice their gas for the good of the team.


Ugh and don’t even get us started on parking. Who even cares anymore? Like, can you please just let me park in these three spots and go find another one?? Gosh sometimes other drivers are so lazy!




Kid: Hey, what are you looking at?

Me: My social life.

Kid: Really? Where? I can’t see it…

Me: Exactly.



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  1. write real articles that address real issues! this is not journalism. the oracle is always looking to be original but this is just a less good version of a buzzfeed article, and “quirky” is not the same thing as original. meanwhile, there are real issues the oracle could be reporting on, but it lacks any real critical thinking because the entire group of students that makes up the class is too privileged and self involved to even begun to understand how they’re failing the rest of the student body in this whitewashed journalism. some people have real problems. are you writing these articles for your peers or for yourself? add a spanish page and call it diverse? or did you cut that, too? the token efforts only add insult to injury. to quote ms beare herself, “what you think you are, and what you actually are, are very different”

    • this is posted in the humor section. if you don’t want to read it because it’s not addressing “hard hitting issues”, move on over to any other section of the newspaper.

      and as funny as this is, the reality of junior class stress is actually pretty relevant.

      if you’re so displeased with the oracle, join the class and try to write some articles that you think are relevant, don’t just send anonymous hate and think you’re going to change anything.

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